"Martinsville Treatment Center feels tight-knit, supportive, and safe. They don’t ask, ‘What did you do wrong?’ They ask, ‘What can we do to help?’"

Carrie E. | Martinsville Treatment Services, Martinsville, IN

My story starts like a lot of others, I was able to try a sip of alcohol on New Year’s Eve, a puff off a joint at 15, just experimenting with every category of drug at parties. But nothing was ever constant except for marijuana.

That changed when I was 24.

In a very short period of time, I experienced an incredible amount of loss that I did not know how to handle. My parents divorced after over 20 years of marriage, my mother's side of the family completely disowned me, and my aunt, who was more like my sister, as she was only six years older than me, passed away.

I was completely lost. My whole family structure and life that I had built, everything I knew about how to have a secure family unit was no longer there. I had no one to turn to in a family setting.

I completed a therapeutic community program while I was incarcerated and put everything I had into it. I came out of that program a better version of myself than I had ever been. I learned so much I couldn't help but help others with that new knowledge. But staying on track outside was harder than I expected, especially without consistent support and transportation. And as most addicts do, I went back to the things I knew. But the things I had learned stayed with me even if I was using. Like a little angel on my shoulder reminding me that I can do better.

From day one, I felt supported.

They weren’t overbearing, but I always knew they were there. I was never afraid to ask questions, and I never felt judged. Instead of focusing on what I did wrong, they focused on helping me figure out what I needed.

That meant everything to me.

One moment that really stuck with me was when Kenisha, the Director, took me to the lab for one of our ‘monthly accountability’ tests. She said, “I’ve seen you’ve been struggling and you're almost there for your take homes, what can we do to help you get there?”, with a smile on her face. I wasn’t expecting that. I was used to feeling like I had to defend myself but instead, she met me with support.

That’s the approach there: How can we help you help yourself?

I’m focused on staying sober, working through my emotions in counseling, journaling, and going to groups that help me process things like grief and loss and building healthy relationships. I’m rebuilding my relationship with my older son, and I’m working toward healing with my younger son.

That part is still really hard, but I’m doing the work.

I’ve also learned that recovery is something I need to stay committed to long-term. I had to explain to my dad that just like someone with a self-inflicted chronic condition I too need to have this care for the rest of my life. At times it might look different - maybe one day no medication, but for now, I am committed to this recovery road.

One of the biggest things I’ve learned is how to let people help me.

I’ve always been someone who takes care of others, and it’s not easy to step back and let someone take care of you. But I’ve learned that I need that support, and that support has helped me build trust in my own recovery.

Today, I’m taking things one day at a time.

And when I need help, I know I have a place I can go and people who truly care about helping me move forward.