By Torna Li, Psy.D. | Regional Clinical Director
Finding Yourself in Sobriety
As a clinical psychologist and the Regional Clinical Director for Pinnacle, my passion and expertise lie in treating substance use disorders (SUD). I’m Dr. Torna Li, and I want to share a profound insight I’ve witnessed countless times throughout my practice.
When people finally commit to sobriety, they often talk about “getting their life back,” but what they really get is something far more valuable: themselves. I call the process of early recovery “unmasking” or “unveiling” the true self.
Addiction as a Mask
For my patients, addiction is never just a physical or chemical dependency; it is also a deeply ingrained coping mechanism. It is a way to manage social anxiety, minimize intense emotions, or silence self-criticism. The substance becomes the mask, and you learn to function as best you can with this mask on.
When the Mask Becomes Identity
The problem is, when you wear that mask long enough, you forget who is underneath. The addiction becomes your identity, and it becomes harder to see your true self and the unmet needs that come with it.
The most difficult part of recovery often isn’t giving up the substance; it’s dealing with the person who emerges when the substance is gone. This is where self-discovery begins.
The Unmasking Process in Counseling
Through counseling, I have helped people peel back those layers gently and gradually in early recovery. I start by asking questions the mask was built to avoid:
- What purpose did the mask serve? How did the mask keep you safe?
- Who are you when you are completely sober and uncomfortable?
- What emotions are you actually feeling right now?
- What do you genuinely want in your life (partner, job, Saturday night?)
How Counseling Supports Self-Discovery
The journey of self-discovery doesn’t have to be this scary experience to face alone. Counseling is your dedicated support crew where you can touch upon many things such as learning new coping skills, discovering your strengths/talents/passions, and finding meaning and joy in your day-to-day life.
We do two things in counseling:
- Safety – We create a safe environment to show your true, unedited, and vulnerable self without fear of being judged or rejected. And we go at your pace, whatever you’re comfortable with (or a little discomfort is OK too).
- Tools – We provide the psychological tools to manage intense emotions and anxiety without reaching for the old mask. You will learn to build a different relationship with yourself.
Finding Your Real Self is Healing
Why is all this unmasking worth it? Because the ability to live as your authentic self is the bedrock of long-term sobriety and mental health.
When you consistently show your authentic self, you stop wasting emotional energy on performance. You start forming real, deep relationships with people who accept the unmasked you – including yourself. This drastically reduces the isolation and internal conflict that often drives relapse.
Sobriety Is the Gateway—Self-Discovery Is the Destination
Sobriety is the gateway, but self-discovery is the destination. It’s not just about stopping a destructive habit; it’s about starting a genuine life. It’s the ultimate upgrade. The most rewarding journey you will ever take is the one to find out who you really are.
If you or someone you care about is struggling with addiction, you don’t have to face it alone. At Pinnacle Treatment Centers, we’re here to help you begin your journey to recovery—and to rediscover the person you were always meant to be. Call us today at 888-991-7351.
About The Author
